Otay, so when I go to school i don't have any internet to tell you everything shitty that goes down so I have been typing them on my Ipod so here are the highlights:
July 20
I'm still in love with you. I say I a not and I say that I cannot stand you but honestly, I still love you more than anything. You broke my heart so many times and didn't even care even if you said sorry. I just can't believe what you say anymore. What happened to the days when you said that you would love me forever and that you thought that the way I talked was just so adorable... After everything, I would still give anything to be with you and I don't know why. I am a mess without you and I am emotionless.
TODAY!
That moment when you meet eyes and your heart starts to race all over again just like the first time you looked into those eyes, those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes. After that, no matter how hard you try or how much it tears you up inside you have to smile for a while. Those few minutes feel like an hour and through that hour you feel wonderful but then, you are left with your already torn up heart ripped out and served to you once again. To him, that eye contact was nothing; just another game. Nothing. No matter what you tell yourself he is still your everything and he is with you in everything; your breathing, your thoughts, your wishes, your fears, and you dreams.
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