Lovin' is what I got.

Ha, jk.

I still think about the way you looked at her and I think about how it is all I have ever wanted. Why can't he look at me the way you looked at her. I really just don't get it. I looked in the mirror today for a long time and thought that I was actually pretty, but if that is true, than why am I the only one who has to say that they have never been kissed, never had a relationship, and doesn't understand why. However, here is the catch...I can say what heart break is; I can tell you heart break stories that make your skin crawl and you heart try to run away forever and hide in fear. If I know that, why is it that I can't tell stories that make you skin feel warm and tingly and your heart want to sit right inside and sigh in desire for that one special feeling. I don't really think that it is all that fair. Do you?

She complains of heart break and desperation to regain his love but she has it and she knows it and she wants it but she won't accept it. I complained about heartbreak to her love filled heart months ago and was written off because I wasn't even in a relationship. Do you know that that hurts worse? Falling in love and waiting for the person to make their move. I woke up every day for months thinking 'Today might be the day!" and going to sleep thinking "Maybe tomorrow :)' Sometimes there is no doubt in my mind that those thoughts were the only thing that kept me going to school every day and waking up. Other times there is no doubt in my mind that now the reason for the same motion is absent and that I needed that to get me through a horrible time. What about now during this bad time? Why am I alone all over again?

I miss him so much every day I yearn to seen his smile and feel the warmth of his arms around me. I want him back but I know two things; the chances of another return are both very likely and very unlikely and its just going to end in heart break.

Forth times the charm.

Side note: I am not going to text anyone first, post a facebook status, or make a call (with some exceptions) until someone shows me that its all worth the time and breath.